This week was one of a kind, something I will always
remember, with
Despite me believing in God I had always been one to easily
give into doubt, and I think every one feels the same some times, but then I
would hear friends talk about how God showed them he was there and real and it
changed how I looked at my doubt. So for three years I have been praying for an
experience like that I watched it happen at the camp I went to, and the past
mission tip I had attended and determination turn quickly and rapidly into
frustration. This had always been my
biggest struggle, and I wanted I moment like this more than any thing. Eight
months ago in Tijuana I promised myself, and God I wouldn’t stop trying to
achieve this closeness and for eight months I prayed to God about it. A week ago my prayer had started to be
answered and I didn’t even know it
Last Tuesday night I
learned a song with the lyrics of “ set a fire down in my soul, that I cant
control”. I learned it to sing with two of my friends on stage for an event
called LA rock, the lyrics were beautiful and warmed me the seconded I heard
them. That evening my friend and youth leader gave her testimony, with no
previous planning between us she played that exact same song multiple times. At
this time I wasn’t even sure I was going to Vancouver with the group, the trip
was in four days and I had still to raise half the money, my friends, while
this amazing melody was resounding in the back ground, prayed for each other.
We would choose some one to sit in the middle , they would say their prayer
request, and then we would pray out loud all at the same time. This in itself
was an unforgettable experience but the second after they prayed for my
fundraising dilemma Mary come up to us to say some one else just donated money
for my trip.. While I was thinking of how amazing of a coincidence this was, a
girl said to me “ that was God, people are going to try to get you to doubt
that, but that was God.” The song still played in the background and I knew
this trip was going to be huge.
Most of the week was exactly what I had expected, crazy
emotions that would go from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds. This is something
that was to be expected when you go on a trip like this. You should expect
moments that will effect your life and help change you into the person you are
today, but what I didn’t expect were these crazy extreme, intense, overwhelming
moments that don’t only change your perspective but essentially change your
whole life in one quick rapid second. Where all you can do it sit there in awe
of the epiphany that was just thrown at you. With the added bonus of learning
some social skills I was defiantly lacking.
When the last night of the trip rolled around I thought that
these social skills is what God wanted to teach me, and I was defiantly content
with that, in fact I was kind of exited to go back and maybe actually talk to
people at school but during worship , which I had always loved, something told
the guy who was playing guitar and singing to play that song totally
unexpectedly. “That was God, people are going to try to get you to doubt that
but that was God.” I thought then started singing the all too familiar words.
My eyes shut and I got sort of dizzy. My breathe quickened and out of no where
I found myself lying on the floor crying, and laughing then crying, again just
overwhelmed and in awe of something I couldn’t quite put my finger on, but
undoubtedly I knew it was God. In that moment there wasn’t a single doubt that
He existed. God answered my prayers. There are no other words for what happened
than indescribable, because that’s what it was. Indescribable. I was at a loss
for words just simply in awe. When the crying stopped uncontrollable smiling
and the urged to just dance and sing replaced it. Indescribable, still now I am
at a loss for words. God gave me certainty something I had been searching for,
for years, and when the time was right I received it.
- Larisa
